I Am. Two Words That Begin to Move You Forward. (A daily practice for when you feel stuck)

May 29, 2026

There is a moment in every divorce when you realize you have stopped moving.

Not on the outside. On the outside you are doing all the things. Showing up at work. Packing the lunches. Answering the lawyer’s emails. Smiling at your sister when she asks how you are.

But on the inside you are stuck. You wake up and stare at the ceiling and cannot remember who you used to be before all of this began. You walk through your kitchen and you are not really there. You read his name on the screen and your whole body goes still. You start sentences in your head that begin with I cannot and I am too and I will never.

Sweet friend, that is stuck. And I want to give you something today that will start to move you.

The Words We Speak, We Become

Here is something I have learned over twenty five years of walking with women and men through this season.

The words we say to ourselves become the reality we live in. Not because they are magic. Because they are practice. Whatever sentence you repeat to yourself, all day, in the back of your mind, becomes the floor your feet stand on. If the sentence is I cannot do this, then by the end of the day you are standing on a floor that cannot hold you. If the sentence is I am still here, then by the end of the day you are standing on something that did.

The good news is, you get to choose the sentence.

The hard news is, you have to choose it on purpose. Every day. Especially on the days you do not feel like it.

Two Words That Move You Forward

I am. That is where it starts. Just those two words.

Every morning, before you reach for your phone, before the kids are up, before the day has a chance to define you, I want you to say two words out loud. I am. Then finish the sentence.

You can finish it however you need to that day. And here is the part most affirmation lists miss. You do not need the same finish every day. Some days you need fight. Some days you need softness. Both are true. Both are yours. The practice is simply that you choose, on purpose, what to put after the words I am.

I want to give you two sets to start with. One for the days you need fire. One for the days you need ground.

FOR THE DAYS YOU NEED FIRE

I am strong.

I am powerful.

I am courageous.

I am a warrior.

I am not finished.

I will not be moved.

FOR THE DAYS YOU NEED GROUND

I am steady.

I am still here.

I am a good mother. (Or a good father.)

I am loved.

I am enough.

I am doing this, one day at a time.

Pick one. Or pick three. Or pick a different one tomorrow than you picked today. The point is not to memorize a list. The point is to put something true after the words I am, every single morning, until the truth starts to settle in your body and not just your mouth.

How to Actually Do This

I want this to be easy enough that you will actually do it. So here is what I tell my clients.

Say them out loud. Not in your head. Out loud. Your body needs to hear your own voice say them. Even a whisper counts. The kitchen counter, the bathroom mirror, the car at a red light. Anywhere is fine.

Say them slowly. Not a rushed list. One sentence. Breath. Next sentence. Breath. Feel each one land before you move on.

Say them even when you do not believe them. Especially when you do not believe them. The first week you may not feel a thing. Keep going. By the third week, something quiet will start to shift. The sentence will start to feel less like a wish and more like a fact.

That is the practice. That is the whole thing.

A Word for the Woman or Man Reading This

You are not stuck because you are weak. You are stuck because the season is heavy and you have been carrying it for a long time. Stuck is not who you are. Stuck is a moment, not a verdict.

The words you have been saying to yourself this whole season, the ones you may not even know you are saying, have been telling you a story. Tomorrow morning, you get to start telling a different one.

I am strong. I am still here. I am a warrior. I am loved. I am enough.

Say it tomorrow before you reach for your phone. Say it again the day after. Say it for thirty days. See what starts to move.

The words we speak, we become. Start speaking yourself forward.

With love,

Tobia

A NOTE

I am a Certified Divorce Coach, not an attorney. Nothing in this letter is legal advice. For questions about your case, please speak with your lawyer. I am here to walk alongside you as a coach.

ASHBY JONES & ASSOCIATES, LLC

Lexington   •   Charleston   •   Columbia

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